Comments on: NaPoWriMo #4 – fresh paint or make up http://haystravelogue.com/poetry/2009/04/napowrimo-4 Mon, 23 Apr 2012 20:55:06 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Mom http://haystravelogue.com/poetry/2009/04/napowrimo-4/comment-page-1#comment-330 Mom Mon, 06 Apr 2009 02:02:54 +0000 http://haystravelogue.com/?p=389#comment-330 Ooooo, these two are just perfect. I can't think of two more colorful images than a peacock's tail and a rainbow -- but because the tail is "tattered" and the "rainbow hangs from a thorny branch" the lines are devoid of any hint of flowery sentimentality. The imagery in the "Chives" poem is so vivid one can see it, smell it, taste it. Also, "the latest bad news" followed by the "weeping" chives message -- it really works. Ooooo, these two are just perfect.
I can’t think of two more colorful images than a peacock’s tail and a rainbow — but because the tail is “tattered” and the “rainbow hangs from a thorny branch” the lines are devoid of any hint of flowery sentimentality.
The imagery in the “Chives” poem is so vivid one can see it, smell it, taste it. Also, “the latest bad news” followed by the “weeping” chives message — it really works.

]]> By: Erin Davis http://haystravelogue.com/poetry/2009/04/napowrimo-4/comment-page-1#comment-328 Erin Davis Sun, 05 Apr 2009 00:38:47 +0000 http://haystravelogue.com/?p=389#comment-328 Beautiful. The last line is just perfect. Beautiful. The last line is just perfect.

]]> By: Nickers and Ink http://haystravelogue.com/poetry/2009/04/napowrimo-4/comment-page-1#comment-327 Nickers and Ink Sat, 04 Apr 2009 23:37:10 +0000 http://haystravelogue.com/?p=389#comment-327 What a refreshing pair of poems, terrific in terseness. <a href="http://nickersandinkblog.blogspot.com/2009/04/beasts-bluff.html" rel="nofollow">THE BEAST’S BLUFF</a> What a refreshing pair of poems, terrific in terseness.

THE BEAST’S BLUFF

]]> By: one more believer http://haystravelogue.com/poetry/2009/04/napowrimo-4/comment-page-1#comment-326 one more believer Sat, 04 Apr 2009 21:38:59 +0000 http://haystravelogue.com/?p=389#comment-326 tattered always has interesting images as well as peacock feathers... and the rainbow well it's just a shining beauty... enjoyed the blend... we can all relate to cutting chives and the scent but loved the emotion glued to the cut! tattered always has interesting images as well as peacock feathers… and the rainbow well it’s just a shining beauty… enjoyed the blend… we can all relate to cutting chives and the scent but loved the emotion glued to the cut!

]]> By: gavin http://haystravelogue.com/poetry/2009/04/napowrimo-4/comment-page-1#comment-325 gavin Sat, 04 Apr 2009 21:10:00 +0000 http://haystravelogue.com/?p=389#comment-325 I love "she makes the first cut" and the last two lines. I love “she makes the first cut” and the last two lines.

]]> By: Linda Jacobs http://haystravelogue.com/poetry/2009/04/napowrimo-4/comment-page-1#comment-324 Linda Jacobs Sat, 04 Apr 2009 16:02:46 +0000 http://haystravelogue.com/?p=389#comment-324 That hint of bad news really makes the poem so much deeper than just cutting chives! I could smell the bad news! That hint of bad news really makes the poem so much deeper than just cutting chives! I could smell the bad news!

]]> By: JennJilks http://haystravelogue.com/poetry/2009/04/napowrimo-4/comment-page-1#comment-323 JennJilks Sat, 04 Apr 2009 14:52:42 +0000 http://haystravelogue.com/?p=389#comment-323 Nice work. Nice work.

]]> By: Danielle http://haystravelogue.com/poetry/2009/04/napowrimo-4/comment-page-1#comment-322 Danielle Sat, 04 Apr 2009 14:29:34 +0000 http://haystravelogue.com/?p=389#comment-322 I like the way you play with "not this, but this" throughout. I also love how that highlights the contrasts. And the last two lines? Brilliant! Makes me want chives! Great poem today. I like the way you play with “not this, but this” throughout. I also love how that highlights the contrasts. And the last two lines? Brilliant!
Makes me want chives!
Great poem today.

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