Hays Travelogue

Egyptian aromatherapy claims that Essence of Lotus promotes calmness. Does it work? This week’s experiment brings some surprising insights to an already calm person. Let’s take a look at what happened.

At the beginning of the week, my state of mind was boredom. I was bored with bitching about the corruption of the school, bored with managing the behavior of spoiled 7th graders, bored with our lifestyle, and most of all, I was bored with myself. I felt stagnant and bored. I put three drops of Essence of Lotus on my pillow and fell sleep.

The first change I noticed was that I began to exercise and eat fruit. I have fallen into an embarrassing state of unhealthy sloth in Egypt. The food here, except for the comfort of beer and potato chips, is unappetizing to me. The meat is tough and full of gristle and bones. The vegetables and fruit are irrigated with water from the dead-donkey canals. Mummy-tummy, or Pharaoh’s Revenge, hits often enough to suppress any appetite. I can’t face salad because who knows what lurks in it? Cleaning food with Clorox and vinegar leaves an (imaginary) aftertaste. So I’ve been living on eggs and bread and worrying about the bird flu and scurvy that will eventually hit me. Last weekend, I bought four pears, and on Monday, I ate one. On Tuesday, I ate two bananas. On Wednesday, I began to do yoga again. Now, health is a craving. I must move. I must eat.

The week turned out to have more than the usual amount of chaos and disruption at school. 85 7th graders and their teachers spent an afternoon building bridges out of spaghetti and glue in a concrete and tile space with no acoustic buffering materials. I allowed one of my classes to organize and carry out an end-of-term party complete with Twister, soft drinks and Cheetos in a carpeted classroom. The principal’s abrasive communication style and checked-out (she is leaving; what does she care?) administrative abilities resulted in a disaster of field trip coverage that finally pushed teachers over the edge. Did any of it phase me? Remarkably, no. I was energized by the first two events, and I ignored the third.

All in all, calm turns out to be a step up for me. Obviously, I was nearly comatose at the beginning of the week and Essence of Lotus saved my life. I feel more alert, more focused, more energetic, and well… sort of normal.

Next week. H-m-m-m. Secrets of the Desert or Frankincense?